Babysitting nurses...

Top 10 Lessons for the Staff at LDS Hospital

My opinions from watching from the sidelines...

1. When a patient checks in and tells you that chemo specifically causes you to be constipated, you listen and watch for signs of constipation immediately. No matter how many people typically get diarrhea from the chemo.

2. When you tell a patients' family you will monitor their output hourly... you should probably tell the truth and say its more like every 2-3 hours.

3. If you are monitoring the patient's output hourly you should know WAY before the point of the bladder becoming horribly full and painful that the patient can no longer pee. Don't wait until the patient collapses in the bathroom and has to pull the emergency cord to fix the issue.

4. Also... if you are monitoring the patient's output hourly, then the catheter bag should never get so full it also fills up the bladder and makes the patient have horrible pain (again)... and this should definitely not happen twice. EVER.

5. When its been completely established the patient gets constipated (even though you're baffled by it), you should monitor and watch the progress of the constipation so it doesn't get to the point where it causes things like diverticulitis and perforated colon... which then leads to a painful surgery.

6. You should listen to your patient and make sure you understand they said their pain level is at a 2... not a 10 like you thought you heard before you start immediately reaching for the pain medicine.

7. Never accept an eye closed, sleepy, groggy "UGG" as a response to your question of "are you feeling nauseated?" Don't turn to get the nausea medicine until you've fully awaken the patient to make sure they truly need some type of medicine.

8. Listen to your patient and find the true root of the problem. Anxiety? Yes. Nausea? Yes. Pain? No. So pain medicine is not likely to solve the issue at hand. Don't just give it to a patient to keep them sedated and out of your hair. It makes it impossible to get them to tell you the true problem. It also makes it impossible to get them up and walking and out of the damn hospital.

9. Don't up the pain pump to a higher level of pain medicine when the patient is just complaining about the pain medicine causing nausea. And their pain is consistently at a 3 (out of 10). You should probably actually lower the pain medicine. And then don't get bitter towards the family when they are upset the higher pain medicine caused the patient to become completely delirious. And then because you are bitter... don't try to force the fact that the patient will go through withdrawals by completely removing the pain pump. The patient doesn't like the pain medicine and hardly uses it anyway. Pain Nazi.

10. Just read the damn chart if you're going to offer some type of medical opinion. Don't breeze into the room flying blind... try to make an assessment and recommendations if you have no clue what's going on. Yes lung doctor... he has ALREADY been diagnosed with fluid in/and around the lungs. I'm telling you his breathing has gotten much worse. Oh... now that you've read the chart you change your mind and think the fluid might be building up worse and he needs an x-ray? At least you listened to me. And then read the chart and got him help. Start by reading the chart first next time and you'll get two extra bonus points. (and for family members... don't EVER assume anyone has read the chart. NO ONE has read the chart...)

It was a rough week at the hospital. Can you tell I needed to vent?

Brandon and I stayed with my mom after the surgery to try to help watch what was going on and get him better. It's been a month and I know my mom is probably exhausted. After a few days it became completely apparent someone has to really watch the nurses and doctors and advocate for the best interests of the patient. Lucky we were able to help out.

By Sunday when I checked in I was really happy to see him doing much better. Awake. Alert. Able to sit up on his own. Can stand and walk a little. Much better than last week when there was no moving without pain. I don't want to jinx anything, but I think we might finally be on the home stretch. Hooray!